It was one year ago today when my life changed completely and forever. Today is a day of mixed emotions for me. I am so excited but yet a little sad. It was one year ago that the Lord blessed my life with the birth of my son. I was scared beyond belief. Would I be a good father? Could I be the one he looked up to? Could I put him above all else? I didn't know. By the end of the day my old life would be washed away. A clean slate waited. The hours dragged by. Finally it was time.
I was right there when he came into the world. The moment I saw him I fell so deeply in love with him. Standing over my son this miracle of God. When he reached out and wrapped his tiny hand around my finger, I knew all my life lead to this one singular moment. The flesh of my flesh before me. My emotions were so strong I had to leave and go find a quiet place. Once I found that place I cried. I cried as if a well had burst open somewhere deep within me. My tears were off joy that my little boy was healthy, they were of sadness that my mom was not there too see her grandson.
My tears were of fright for how my life had changed and what was required of me now.I reached out and put my hand on his chest. His tiny heart beating fast beneath it. I watched with amazement over the next months as my son developed.My love grew stronger everyday for him. My old life no longer mattered. I would give my life for my little boy without a seconds thought. He will have a father who is always there for him. A father that will always protect him and father with whom he will never have to question how much he cares for him.I am sad that my son will grow up in two separate houses having to spend his time between both. I had prayed and hoped that this would not be the case but it is. I cannot do anything to change it.
I can only make the best of it.Over the last year, my son has taught me a wealth of knowledge. He has taught me patience. He has taught me how to enjoy the simple things in life. He has taught me the meaning of absolute love. Most importantly he has taught me too see the wonderment of the world through a child's eyes again.Xander has made me into the man I had always imagined I could be. He has shown me new roads in this thing we call life. Thank you X. I love you more then my words could ever express. I will always be by your side to pick you up when you fall. To protect you and too love you as a father should.
I was right there when he came into the world. The moment I saw him I fell so deeply in love with him. Standing over my son this miracle of God. When he reached out and wrapped his tiny hand around my finger, I knew all my life lead to this one singular moment. The flesh of my flesh before me. My emotions were so strong I had to leave and go find a quiet place. Once I found that place I cried. I cried as if a well had burst open somewhere deep within me. My tears were off joy that my little boy was healthy, they were of sadness that my mom was not there too see her grandson.
My tears were of fright for how my life had changed and what was required of me now.I reached out and put my hand on his chest. His tiny heart beating fast beneath it. I watched with amazement over the next months as my son developed.My love grew stronger everyday for him. My old life no longer mattered. I would give my life for my little boy without a seconds thought. He will have a father who is always there for him. A father that will always protect him and father with whom he will never have to question how much he cares for him.I am sad that my son will grow up in two separate houses having to spend his time between both. I had prayed and hoped that this would not be the case but it is. I cannot do anything to change it.
